Weblog

Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • et je veux ton revenge

    Okay, so the majority of my Christmas shopping is done! And the best part is that half the people I'm buying for, I didn't buy anything!

    Here's the deal: what I want to get my mom and my dad is something a little big, so my brother is helping. He's actually going to buy it and I'm going to give him half of the money, so that's all settled. What I'm getting Fred and Lucas is in Jason's hands and I'll pitch in. Awesome. Same with Paul.

    So basically, I only bought stuff for Dinah, Jocy, and Matt. Now I just have to work on Jason, and I SHOULD be finished. The sad part is that I have no clue what to get him.

    Things have been up and down with our relationship. There's not going to be a quick fix, I understand that. It's just difficult. I'll leave it at that.

    I'm thinking about taking a trip to Atlanta sometime in December! I would like just a nice little vay-cay for myself. I know that a lot of the problems in Jason and my relationship is because of me, so I need to take some time to just clear my head. I think going to Atlanta will help because it'll take me out of Bridgewater, it'll take me away from the people I know best, and put me in a complete different situation. Will this help me deal with my problems? I think so. Sometimes what people need is just a change of pace to help better organize their thoughts. Plus, I'll get to see Evan and meet some of his friends.

    Rosetta Stone contacted me again and want to have another interview. Hopefully I can pull this one off.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Thursday, 12 November 2009

  • as long as its free

    Sometimes problems attack you all at once. I'm not having a lot of problems, per se, but my relationship with Jason is straining.

    I don't know where it really came from, but suddenly we are having a lot of issues. Maybe I was oblivious or didn't want to believe any of it, but its definitely happening. There have been talks of not being together, there has been talks of getting better, and everything in between.

    My perspective is a frustrating one because I am tired of having the "talks." My previous partner and I fought all the time so I tire VERY quickly of all of this kind of talk. I'm also frustrated with having to work at a relationship to make it better. For me, a good relationship is something you don't have to really work at. Now, I love Jason, I'm not saying I don't want to try to amend things, but it definitely shines light on the fact that we're not perfect.

    Lately, different thoughts have been passing through my head. Things like if we won't work out, if Jason dies early (he has a family history of unhealthiness), and things like that. Just thinking about those things is scary and tiring because of all the problems that it creates.

    Apparently I'm going through something like identity diffusion. Paul said it is a depressive state. I don't know what it is. I'm just confused by all of it.

    Things are not working out at the moment. Everything else seems to be okay, though. I could eeasily fall into more problems, though.

Thursday, 05 November 2009

  • HEAL HEAL HEAL!!

    I think I am returning to the old me (old me being Spring 09 me)! This is a good thing! I had a schedule, I was happy even in frustrating times, I was the healthiest I had ever been... everything seems to be working out. I'm adjusted to my new home and, for better or for worse, adjusted to my working schedule. So, using Numbers from iWork, I drafted a schedule for each day of the week which I will work on every week. In the schedule, I write things like waking up, exercising, cleaning, meditation, etc. It may be micromanaging myself, but if that is what it takes to lead a better life, then so be it. I have a feeling, though, that if I do this long enough, like a year or maybe more, I'll be so driven in this habit that I won't even need a schedule.

    I also have the Numbers file set to where I can keep track of schedules in the past to build on them, improve them, and so on. I'm truly excited! Also, itunes has become increasingly useful to me. I have discovered podcasts! Of course I have heard of them in the past but never really paid attention. Now there are meditation and Japanese class podcasts on my itunes and I love it. Every day holds a new meditation and when the time comes, I can truly start studying Japanese in a more structured manner.

    Rosetta Stone decided to not give me the job, HOWEVER it is because the hiring for that position is being pushed back until January. Also, the person that interviewed me was apparently super impressed and suggested I work for downtown. Thus, Katie the recruiter is sending my resume to other recruiters. I'm really hoping something works out, either for downtown or pursuing this job at the distribution center. I'm learning to tolerate Chipotle, but what really is on my mind is finding a career, not a job. Rosetta Stone is a career that I can do for a long, long time. I can't stay at Chipotle for a long, long time.

    So, organization has been the theme as of late. It is quite refreshing, too! Other things have been on my mind as well, but are not worth mentioning. Everything will easily work out like it is supposed to.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

yomimashou

  • Visit yomimashou's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jake
    • Birthday: 8/23/1988
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 10/18/2008

About Me

[no info]